No votes
Once a curious man asked his priest "which is more important, the sun, or the moon". the priest responded, "the moon, because the sun lights up the day when it is already bright, but without the moon the nights would be dark".
No votes
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
No votes
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, and after finishing their dinner they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." "I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" exclaims Watson. "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson ponders for a minute. "Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?" "Watson, you idiot!" He exclaims, "Somebody's stolen our tent!"
No votes
A guy walk's toward a guy and ask what is intimacy? He says: "Intimacy is like putting your wiener on a table and then a guy come's at you and says: "Wow, that looks like a penis only smaller!""
No votes
There were two Cats, an English Cat and a French Cat. The English Cat was named "123", and the French Cat was named "Un Deux Trois". One day while they were out they came across a Stream. "Lets run really Fast and we will be able to walk on water said the English Cat" They both ran really Fast but only one of the Cats made it. Which Cat made it across the stream?? It was the English Cat who made it across, Because "Un Deux Trois Cat Sank"
100%
Two Balloons get Married and have a little baby Balloon. At First they all sleep together in the same bed - But eventually the baby Balloon gets bigger and they have to put him in a seperate cot. The baby Balloon accepts this reluctantly but one night, as he lies there, he finds himself wishing he were back in with his Mum and Dad...So while they are asleep he squeezes between them, but there's no room in the bed, so he lets a bit of air out of Mummy Balloon, a little bit out of Daddy Balloon and a little bit out of himself. Then they all fit snugly and Baby Balloon sleeps happily. But in the morning he awakes to see his Dad glaring down at him. "Look what you have done!" says his Father, "You've let me down, you've let your Mum down and worst of all - you have let yourself down".
No votes
All of these jokes are funny, and i can't make up my mind.
Total votes: 1
